By: Vanessa Palafox

Vanessa Palafox — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 03:03:31 +0000

Before I accepted Christ in my life I was living foul. The betrayal of my best friend and homosexual partner pushed me over the edge, I was so angry I ended up fighting my so called friend in the back of my ex’s car. I remember being blinded by anger, I wasn’t thinking I just know the hate I had in my heart was like nothing I never felt before. After I had done the damage I walked away didn’t look at her because my heart was so numb.
The cops eventually caught up to me, hand cuffed, and questioned me they asked me what I used to hit her, because she had a minor concussion and we waited to see if she was going to press charges.
Grace be to God she never pressed charges, but I still couldn’t forgive myself and was ashamed. I turned to alcohol and marijuana. I was hooked and became dependent on both substance and later experimented with ecstasy pills at house parties and night clubs. I was unlicensed and driving under the influence. It was safe to say my life was going nowhere fast. I walked around with a death wish until a tragic death occurred.
It was in December 2007 my cousin Michelle past away in a car accident not because she was under the influence, but simply because the gravel caused her car to spin out of control. Her death was sudden and unexpected. Jesus used her death to show me how ignorant I was. I would drive from SF to SJ drunk with friends passed out in the back of the car and she was driving from her mothers birthday back to a concert she had for her school. I was crushed but her life inspired me, she was living for Christ and her dream was to become a Gospel artist. She wanted to worship and praise God for the rest of her life. I didn’t really know God till then.
I began attending church again January 2008, my life was still not in line with God, my lifestyle had a hold on my. BUT GOD… came into my life unexpectedly. I attended a Retreat for Midnight Basketball and the night we stood in front of the bon fire God moved in my life, I felt him breaking down the walls I had built around my heart. I left the retreat saved and was baptized July 2008.
I had great a support system, mentors, accountability, and a new family in Christ. My life was not all peachy I struggled, stumbled, and was discouraged at times, but eventually, I learned how to talk to my spiritual family and seek council something I still need to do. The evidence of Christ in my life is in my testimony. “I am not were I want to be but I praise Jesus Christ that I am not were I used to be” =]
-Pfox

Comments on: Are you really saved?

By: Vanessa Palafox